|
SOCIETY'S PERMISSION TO BATTER
Another important contributing factor is that men have society’s
implied permission to
hit their wives or girlfriends. It’s probably true that most people
would say men shouldn’t hit the women they love
(or anyone else they care for or who is smaller and weaker than themselves).
But we’ve seen that historically this idea exists side by side with the
traditional assumption that men should be able to control their wives
by whatever means necessary. Traditional ideas die hard.
Friends may blame the victim for being in the situation at all, family members may not
believe that it’s happening and therapists are likely to ask what the
woman did to
provoke it. Although none of these people state in so many words
that they approve of the violence, denial of the battering
or the implication that the victim is at fault has the effect of giving the man
a "hitting license," especially if the batterer is the victim’s husband.
He can be quite confident that his friends and family - and perhaps even hers - will stick by him; he probably won’t go to jail or even be questioned by the police. The social sanctions that keep most of us from acting on violent impulses don’t operate in the arena of marriage.
| 
