-- Dr. Phillip Welsh author of Seven Essentials of Health

Rage can involve: Screaming, yelling, throwing things, pounding fists, threats of violence, nonverbal withdrawal or stonewalling to manipulate, physically threatening facial expressions. It's NOT normal to yell and scream all the time. Someone who rages would probably find more happiness in his/her relationships - with partners and children - learning anger management skills.

Everyone nearby when a rager rages experience trauma. There is always the implicit threat that s/he will lose control and become physically violent. If you are living with a rager you are experiencing sanctuary trauma - severe abuse - and may need help with the effects of repeated trauma which can include nerve disorders, physical disorders and, if repeated over too long a time, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Ragers react to strong emotions - that usually have nothing to do with you - with rage. (e.g. feelings of fear, sadness, shame, inadequacy, guilt or loss convert to rage.)

Ragers were typically shamed by their parents or teachers for expressing emotion when they were young or experienced emotional punishment for it; i.e.: "Boys don't cry", "Wimp," "Calm down! I'll only listen to you when you calm down," and, the worst - invoking fear at a moment of distress: "I'll give you something to cry about". Raging gives the rager a feeling of power and control. This momentarily alleviates their feelings of inadequacy and deep shame. But it's addictive. They need to keep doing it to keep feeling good - until they deal with their deep problems. Ragers routinely destroy their interpersonal relationships - whether their victims have the courage to tell them or not. As a form of violence, rage breaks the trust that is REQUIRED for a good relationship.

Besides learning anger management skills, ragers will benefit from beginning to face, in a safe and nurturing environment, the traumas they themselves experienced as children. Until they get in touch with their own pain, they will be unaware of how others feel around their rage. In a safe counseling session, for example, they will learn that their experience of being punished, hurt or scolded for expressing their emotions was scarring, and caused deep and painful shame. They will learn this tells a child that "being you is not OK," hurting them at the very core of their spiritual center. They will also learn that it was NOT OK that this was done to them - it was wrong.

Sources and Links:
Recovery Man, ;