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"Treat Others as You Would
Like Them to Treat You - Except Your Wife: Make Sure She Obeys You"
Religious and Cultural Cruelty of Women - The Most Serious Form of
Abuse
Copyright 2003 - All Rights Reserved Authors of thingsarelookinup.com
Page 1 | Page 2
The Sweet Compliant Female (or Male!) - Who Has the Boundaries Problem?
It is in women's nature to be soft and quiet (well some of the time!) and giving.
This is misunderstood by immature men to be assent to be dominated. Counselors who are
steeped in an education that is exclusively masculine will hurt women by telling them
that abuse that they experience is their own fault, that they have a boundaries problem.
Blaming the victim of someone else's behavior for the behavior is damaging emotional abuse that need not be tolerated.
In this context it's called "victimizing the victim" or "double victimization" (she got abused and now she's labelled sick,
too!) and anyone encountering it would be generous if he or she referred refer this
"professional" to the work
of Lundy Bancroft, Patricia Evans, and this article.
Many of these masculine counselors - men or women -
imply that the compliant person is the one with the "boundaries problem" but that is completely clinically inaccurate.
The
sweet, meek, giving, loving person whose boundaries were violated does not have a "boundaries problem". The person who violated her boundaries has the "boundaries
problem!"
Most importantly, while we see many lovely "compliant"
women before they get involved in a relationship, we find more often than
not that if she becomes more compliant while in the relationship there
is an excellent chance she has been a victim of emotional abuse.
Pscyhiatry: The Legacy of Immature Men
1. Maturity requires empathy: the ability to imagine how others feel.
2. Women are different from men.
Since immature people cannot imagine that other people think, feel or experience life differently than they do, when immature men were finished with the
psychiatric literature it looked like all women are crazy and most men are "well-adjusted."
All the women who have been trained in psychology to any degree have been brainwashed in this highly masculine and immature view of the world. Maturity requires empathy and if you aren't getting it, you're not dealing with a mature counselor.
Yelling - Male to Female - is Assault
When a man is emotionally abusive by having an outburst of temper, a
woman experiences that anger as a threat of violence by virtue of a man's
strength and size. We now have studies that prove that in disputes with a significant other a woman's immune system and heart are severely compromised while his are not. Her history or lack thereof with abusive men is irrelevant.
His superior size and strength is all that's pertinent in this interchange.
From a legal viewpoint: If a man walks into a bar with a gun, that gun
makes him stronger than all the other men in the room. If he weilds that
gun and says angry things, he can get arrested for threatening to be violent.
We call that Emotional Violence®. Under the law it's
called assault.
Likewise, because between a man and a woman there is always an
imbalance of strength - unless the woman has a weapon - and an outburst of
temper on the part of a man toward a woman is almost always experienced
as a threat of violence.
Raven relates that immature men have used angry
outbursts - emotional violence® - to control women through fear with
great success for many, many years, and will continue to use it... as
long as it works. They report that when this alone doesn't work, many,
not all, progress to use physical violence.
Assault has been illegal for years - at least where men are concerned!
Assault is simply the threat of violence - no physical contact is necessary
to prosecute under the law. Battery is the actual physical contact. For this reason, we are asking ourselves why emotional abuse continues to be legal when we have thousands of women suffering physical problems as a result of it? Will we ever be truly liberated as long as it is legal for men to use emotional abuse to hurt and control us?
The law isn't perfect and should never be used as a guide to moral conduct.
The reason why we waited almost 2000 years after Christ to make it illegal
for a man to batter his wife is because it has been some 99% men, in law-making
history, who have decided which morals would be enforced through written
law. There are many more wrongs yet to be enforced, many more people yet
to be protected. And now that you've read this you can be a part of this
change :-)
To Page 1 of Religious and Cultural Abuse of Women:
Women Caused Original Sin: A Switch on Male/Female Biology
Maturity: Taking Responsibility for Your Actions
Obey Your Husband! or... what?
Surfers Can Relate! Add Your Experiences
Following is a list of actual words people told women in the last 20
years when they wanted to leave an abusive marriage!
You'll shudder when you read them but take heart! They are now widely recognized
as abusive and controlling. Do your part to eliminate these attitudes altogether
so we can ensure women are treated exactly the way men would want to be
treated in the same situation.
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